Politically Correct – Is it Correct?
The way I spend my days is making sure everyone in and around my life are doing well, trying to be productive and taking care of daily commitments. So I need to ask… who has the time to dive into elements of society so deeply. I keep looking more and more at the news and wonder who it’s produced for. Everyone is making an effort to be politically correct — Is it correct.
I don’t care what your background and preferences are. I like everyone who is a good person. In fact, one of my little quirks is wondering why people choose the work they do and to learn about all the things I never knew goes into the job. Whether service or product, I want to know more.
Two Nights Ago
I was flipping through channels and ended up on Tucker Carlson. Why? Because there was a banner on the bottom of the screen regarding taking the word man out of the English language. Why? Because it is offensive. Every word that has the derivative man in it needs to be changed.
Yup, a professor in Indiana (I think that’s where it was) determined this need for language change. So we should no longer be humans. We are now hupersons. There are no congressman or woman. Only congresspersons.
Apparently every word or thought that is not gender neutral is offensive. First really? This is the most important thing to accomplish in the world.
So if I’m having a child and someone asks .. are you having a boy or a girl? I’m supposed to say. “I’m having a person.”
Once I have this person, he/she will have different needs. So how do we handle this? The book that’s supposed to teach children about the potty. How do you teach a person with different anatomy to be gender neutral?
Someone please enlighten me?
Aren’t we passed this? The statistics have changed. People of every shape, size and color accept everyone. Differences are appreciated and judgement is gone for all. The majority isn’t defined by difference; it’s defined by sameness.
However, there are a small groups of people that try to keep this idea active.
In my opinion, by doing that, you actually create a problem. Most people really think … if you’re not judging me, I won’t judge you. If you’re nice to me, I’ll be nice to you.
Does it really have to be this big a deal?
Small Groups With Big Voices
There are people in this world that have situations or tendencies that are less common that others . Most are a fraction of a % of the US, let alone, world population.
Should they be respected? Absolutely! Should we change our whole culture and government allotments to accommodate the few over the many?
What About the Many?
A month ago, I was watching the news and saw that the State of New York is going to give free college tuition to DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals).
So, if I am a US citizen and live in NY State, I have to pay or take loans to finance my education, but a non-citizen gets a free ride?
I can’t believe the people in the State aren’t having a fit.
No loan forgiveness for most citizens? No special financing for citizens?
How did this happen? I absolutely feel the DACA people are in a quandary.
It’s not unsolvable. It’s actually simple. If you want to be a citizen, you enter the legal process to become a citizen. Maybe there is a temporary green card to give time to get through the naturalization process and you’re good.
Someone has to be able to do the math to figure out how to set levels to mix them into the existing naturalization plan. That doesn’t seem too hard.
Could it be as simple as get rid of the lottery system and replace these spots with the DACA people?
The question then arises about their family, who are also here illegally here. Well, then there is a choice to make. Can they try to naturalize? If not, they made a choice.
Why do I have to make choices about how I spend my resources and manage my family, but others do not?
The Silent Majority and Our Elected Officials
I cannot imagine the pressures and people trying to sway their interests everyday.
However, the novel idea (that shouldn’t be novel at all) that is emerging is having these public servants making things easier for the majority’s needs proportionately to the minority. Again majority is by mindset and needs, not any other definition.
Things need to be prioritized. The two party system no longer working.
It’s just too partisan.
The reason the silent majority are silent is because the minute they something, they are labeled all kinds of things. Because of that they keep quiet.
They know their voices will be drowned out.
Every so often I watch a topic closely. And you can literally see officials flip flop for political gain.
Let’s go back to DACA as an example. Everyone agreed on tenets of what can solve the problem. However, it is more important to not solve it as some believe it will create an advantage for the mid-term elections.
So DACA stays in the news and diverts attention from North Korea, celebrating the Olympics or just telling a positive new story.
Do you know where I get most of my warm fuzzies? From posts on Facebook. If you want a heart warming story there are tons posted there.
People Without a Clue – Politically Correct?
I still don’t know the definition of misconduct. The few men I have spoken to about this have said they don’t know where the line is.
Some are saying they don’t want to hire or work with women because they are afraid of what they could be accused of.
Others are considering making date ground rules to avoid accusations later.
Can you imagine? Hi Jen. I’m looking forward to our date tonight. If it is going well and you’d like a kiss good night. Please let me know. Now, if we kiss and it is a pleasant experience, please raise your right hand. I will ask if you would like me to walk you to your door or we can just meet separately and avoid any awkwardness later.
There’s a chance our society is going to die out.
People can come forward years later. Even after things have been investigated to the hills and say they were violated. And in their perspective they probably think they have been treated badly.
But what is abuse? What is misconduct and what is permissible at one point in time and then not so years later? Now no one knows.
And what is abuse? Has that definition changed too?
When I was in college, I thought one possible profession for me was to be a psychologist or psychiatrist. My summer internships were at different departments in the county’s social services. One summer was adoption and undercare. Another summer was child protection and a third summer was mental health.
With this and other experiences in my life, I have had the humbling opportunity to see what real abuse is.
Sit in a family court room for a week and see what real abuse is. Spend a day with a social worker and you’ll see what real abuse is.
As an intern, they only expose you to the most mild of cases. Here are four quick stories that made me throw up after. I wish I knew how their lives all turned out.
The Sugarcoated Versions of These Stories
1.. Give the Child A Chance: A child had a a traumatic head injury from his dad harming him as an infant. From 6 months to 3, he lived in a loving foster home. The foster family wanted to adopt him.
His biological family would not relinquish him. Every week I had to take this well groomed, happy child to his parents, where four adults and 3 dogs lived in one filthy room. The child would cling to me the whole time. They had no idea how to connect with him. When the child saw me, he would cry and hold onto his foster mom, because he knew where he was going.
2. Emotional Care vs Convenience: An 11 year old had, he, and his 12 brothers and sisters put into foster care, because the parents couldn’t afford to take care of them. Once they got on their feet, they took all the kids back but the 11 year old. He kept running away from foster homes and return to his family. To stop this, they put him in a mental institution. There he had whole new challenge. It changed him into a cynical and paranoid individual I won’t write the things I saw there. Let me tell you; it is beyond anything you can imagine.
3. What’s the Return Policy: A 7 year old adopted child was returned to social services after 3 years with his family. Prior to the adoption he had a drug addicted mom and was left alone to take care of himself from 18 months on. He was completely neglected and abused. Again, beyond your imagination.
His return to foster care was not because he had issues. He was a sweetheart. Not because the family couldn’t afford to take care of him. He was returned because too many people said he didn’t look like the rest of the family. Social services tried to help the family come to terms with their decision. It seemed they were successful.
Then the family went to a church event where it was mentioned a few times. (The irony isn’t missed that this happened at a church event)
That’s when they moved forward to returning him. They didn’t tell the child that he was going back to foster care. The social worker, who I accompanied, had to. The child’s suitcase was packed and they called him downstairs and he was told. He cried harder than anyone I’ve ever seen. Screaming mommy, daddy as I carried him out. I sat in the back of the car with him and he held on to me so hard. He was brought to a temporary home for the weekend and then the next week he’d go to a more permanent foster family.
We brought him into the foster care house and he wouldn’t let go. He was devastated. After a half hour, the social worker felt he had acclimated enough and we could leave. He was told we were going and he grabbed my leg and didn’t want me to leave.
The social worker separated him from me and had me leave first. As we pulled out of the driveway, he was in the window watching and crying.
I still remember his face as if it just happened.
4. Murder: The 20 year old who shot his baby in the head:
This case was in criminal court. They wanted me to see how that part of the system worked. It’s nothing like you see on TV.
Simply, this young man was making a drug deal and his child began to cry in the back seat as they were negotiating money. The child wouldn’t stop. So, he shot him. The baby didn’t die immediately. He died on the way to the hospital. Thank goodness someone saw what was happening and called it in.
After the first crime scene picture, I couldn’t look anymore.
He was sentenced to 10 years in prison with parole option after 5 years.
These are the sugarcoated versions of these stories. Noe you can see why I vomited upon returning home those night.
Uncomfortable vs Abuse
As I hear people say I was uncomfortable after submitting to an activity to make them rich and famous. Or, to become rich and famous after the fact. Or, to create a stir to harm someone who is in the public eye.
Now, one person, that I’m aware of, refused the uncomfortable incident and didn’t become rich and famous. She made a choice.
If someone is uncomfortable they should feel empowered to say so. And it should be respected. It also has to be reasonable. Or it can become a can of worms.
I don’t know how these lines are going to be drawn or how they will be defined in a policy way.
These moments of discomfort only makes it harder for people really abused.
Their voices are the ones really unheard.
Humble and Kind
I use this every time any controversial subject comes up. I say this to my kids all the time.
If you are humble and kind, many big things can become solvable and small. It’s all about listening and learning.