Like many families, each Easter an egg hunt was part of the holiday. Usually, we would put out real eggs and hollow plastic eggs with candy inside. Sometimes the eggs were inside and outside and every other combination you can think of. However, one year, it didn’t go exactly as planned. Thus, an Easter story – That’s unusual. Warning .. this story is not for all audiences.
On one particular Easter, about 15 years ago, the eggs were all put outside before little ones were even awake. Upon awaking, there was no immediate interest in going outside to search for eggs.
However, looking outside to determine a game plan for finding the eggs was definitely of interest.
As I put the eggs out, I had to shew away a squirrel. As we looked out the window, you could see the squirrel was back. So I opened the door clapped my hands and the squirrel was gone.
The Squirrel Came Back – Again and Again
After finding different ways to scare him (or her) off, we gave up. Now the squirrel kept going to the same plastic egg on a tree V over and over.
We had breakfast; got dressed; and were ready to go out. Upon going outside, the squirrel ran up the tree.
The plastic egg he was nibbling on; he successfully gnawed through. From what we could tell, he most likely ate plastic and chocolate.
And Then it Happened
The squirrel started shaking and swirling on the upper branch. His heart was visibly heaving. Then, it squeaked and fell into the road. Yes, either we killed the squirrel or it coincidently had a heart attack.
My guess is .. we were responsible. But, let’s hope not.
The Aftermath
Well that ended the egg hunt. We went inside. After a bit, there was curiosity. So to the window we went and there lay the squirrel.
Now I’m wondering if I should get the squirrel; put it in a bag and throw it in the garbage.
Before I could decide, there was a renewed interest in the egg hunt.
But, once outside, the actual interest was going to look at the squirrel.
Crud
So, there we stood looking at the squirrel. With baskets in hand, there were two eggs collected followed by two looks at the squirrel.
At that point, it felt like getting back into the house was the best idea.
Missing Squirrel
No matter what we did; the window was visited every so often to look at the squirrel. And then, it was gone.
We have no idea where it went. It absolutely was dead. It had eaten plastic, which had to not digest and very likely harmed organs. On top of that, the squirrel ate chocolate. That easily must have caused a heart attack.
So it has remains a mystery.
As Time Goes By — An Easter Story
At first the story was .. remember the Easter when the squirrel disappeared. This changed to … remember the Easter when we were more interested in the squirrel than candy. And finally, remember the Easter, when mom killed the squirrel.
This is the most popular of Easter memories. If you mention Easter, this is the story that is shared.
So, Happy Easter, no matter what your past or present Easter memories or traditions are; or the most challenging ones where food was burned or people were at odds; you can always say, at least I didn’t kill a squirrel.
Please pray for the mysterious squirrel, enjoy your Easter or tell me an Easter story that makes mine look as if it’s not so bad.
After 50 something years, on Saturday I picked up glasses. Sure they’re blue and as cute as they can be; and I can see. Well kinda.
However, they are also a big adjustment. Bigger than I thought it’d be; that’s for sure. So here’s my story of glasses – I can see and adapt.
Where to start …
What The Optometrist Found
For more than 20 years my right eye has been compensating for my left. No one ever noticed or found this before. If you look at my license or passport, you can see my left eye has been squinting mildly all this time. I don’t have lazy eye, astigmatism or any other oddity. I just have really bad vision in my left eye. The good news is I have really good vision in my right eye.
Sticking with good news. My night vision is fine.
So I can’t explain WTH is happening, but I can tell you how it’s going.
How it Went
Upon walking out of the Optometrist’s office with my new glasses, I tripped 4 times while walking to the car that was 25 feet from the door. Not off to a good start.
As I was getting into the car, the ground looked like it was wiggly. You know when you watch TV and they cut to a dream sequence. That’s what I saw.
Once in the car, the revelation hits me. I can see. I didn’t know I couldn’t see, but now I can.
That quickly changed. Apparently, you are supposed to move your head around until you can find the head position and find the clear vision point.
Wait — glasses take work? You don’t just put them on and you can see in vivid 4K? Come on. No one told me that until after they were made and on.
Well, at that point, I had to run with it.
There we are driving while I’m bobbing my head to find the clear view. It was getting easier, but as soon as I relaxed; it’s all blurry again. Ugh
I still cannot regularly find the sweet spot for near sight or far sight.
Am I Not Smart Enough to Wear Glasses?
The answer is yes. I am not smart enough to wear glasses. It’s the biggest pain ever. You have to clean them constantly. Pain.
Sometimes you can see better without them on. Seems wrong. Pain.
Every morning, I forget that I wear them. It takes 30+ minutes for me to realize I forgot them. Pain.
The first 2 days, I kept covering my right eye so my left eye could learn to be open. It seemed to work, but as soon as I open both eyes, they left one takes a break. It just doesn’t want to be part of the seeing world. Pain.
I Can See and Adapt
I can only see sometimes. If I force my left eye to stay open, I can see.
Conclusion
I have glasses; and I cannot adapt. Squinting will continue as will bobbing and weaving to try to get them to work.
Perhaps someday, an inventor will find a way for glasses to work automatically. You simply put them on and you can see.
Progressive, bi-focals, tri-focals, near sighted or far, when you get glasses, you should be able to see immediately.
The way I spend my days is making sure everyone in and around my life are doing well, trying to be productive and taking care of daily commitments. So I need to ask… who has the time to dive into elements of society so deeply. I keep looking more and more at the news and wonder who it’s produced for. Everyone is making an effort to be politically correct — Is it correct.
I don’t care what your background and preferences are. I like everyone who is a good person. In fact, one of my little quirks is wondering why people choose the work they do and to learn about all the things I never knew goes into the job. Whether service or product, I want to know more.
Two Nights Ago
I was flipping through channels and ended up on Tucker Carlson. Why? Because there was a banner on the bottom of the screen regarding taking the word man out of the English language. Why? Because it is offensive. Every word that has the derivative man in it needs to be changed.
Yup, a professor in Indiana (I think that’s where it was) determined this need for language change. So we should no longer be humans. We are now hupersons. There are no congressman or woman. Only congresspersons.
Apparently every word or thought that is not gender neutral is offensive. First really? This is the most important thing to accomplish in the world.
So if I’m having a child and someone asks .. are you having a boy or a girl? I’m supposed to say. “I’m having a person.”
Once I have this person, he/she will have different needs. So how do we handle this? The book that’s supposed to teach children about the potty. How do you teach a person with different anatomy to be gender neutral?
Someone please enlighten me?
Race inequalities
Aren’t we passed this? The statistics have changed. People of every shape, size and color accept everyone. Differences are appreciated and judgement is gone for all. The majority isn’t defined by difference; it’s defined by sameness.
However, there are a small groups of people that try to keep this idea active.
In my opinion, by doing that, you actually create a problem. Most people really think … if you’re not judging me, I won’t judge you. If you’re nice to me, I’ll be nice to you.
Does it really have to be this big a deal?
Small Groups With Big Voices
There are people in this world that have situations or tendencies that are less common that others . Most are a fraction of a % of the US, let alone, world population.
Should they be respected? Absolutely! Should we change our whole culture and government allotments to accommodate the few over the many?
What About the Many?
A month ago, I was watching the news and saw that the State of New York is going to give free college tuition to DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals).
So, if I am a US citizen and live in NY State, I have to pay or take loans to finance my education, but a non-citizen gets a free ride?
I can’t believe the people in the State aren’t having a fit.
No loan forgiveness for most citizens? No special financing for citizens?
How did this happen? I absolutely feel the DACA people are in a quandary.
It’s not unsolvable. It’s actually simple. If you want to be a citizen, you enter the legal process to become a citizen. Maybe there is a temporary green card to give time to get through the naturalization process and you’re good.
Someone has to be able to do the math to figure out how to set levels to mix them into the existing naturalization plan. That doesn’t seem too hard.
Could it be as simple as get rid of the lottery system and replace these spots with the DACA people?
The question then arises about their family, who are also here illegally here. Well, then there is a choice to make. Can they try to naturalize? If not, they made a choice.
Why do I have to make choices about how I spend my resources and manage my family, but others do not?
The Silent Majority and Our Elected Officials
I cannot imagine the pressures and people trying to sway their interests everyday.
However, the novel idea (that shouldn’t be novel at all) that is emerging is having these public servants making things easier for the majority’s needs proportionately to the minority. Again majority is by mindset and needs, not any other definition.
Things need to be prioritized. The two party system no longer working.
It’s just too partisan.
The reason the silent majority are silent is because the minute they something, they are labeled all kinds of things. Because of that they keep quiet.
They know their voices will be drowned out.
Every so often I watch a topic closely. And you can literally see officials flip flop for political gain.
Let’s go back to DACA as an example. Everyone agreed on tenets of what can solve the problem. However, it is more important to not solve it as some believe it will create an advantage for the mid-term elections.
So DACA stays in the news and diverts attention from North Korea, celebrating the Olympics or just telling a positive new story.
Do you know where I get most of my warm fuzzies? From posts on Facebook. If you want a heart warming story there are tons posted there.
People Without a Clue – Politically Correct?
I still don’t know the definition of misconduct. The few men I have spoken to about this have said they don’t know where the line is.
Some are saying they don’t want to hire or work with women because they are afraid of what they could be accused of.
Others are considering making date ground rules to avoid accusations later.
Can you imagine? Hi Jen. I’m looking forward to our date tonight. If it is going well and you’d like a kiss good night. Please let me know. Now, if we kiss and it is a pleasant experience, please raise your right hand. I will ask if you would like me to walk you to your door or we can just meet separately and avoid any awkwardness later.
There’s a chance our society is going to die out.
People can come forward years later. Even after things have been investigated to the hills and say they were violated. And in their perspective they probably think they have been treated badly.
But what is abuse? What is misconduct and what is permissible at one point in time and then not so years later? Now no one knows.
And what is abuse? Has that definition changed too?
When I was in college, I thought one possible profession for me was to be a psychologist or psychiatrist. My summer internships were at different departments in the county’s social services. One summer was adoption and undercare. Another summer was child protection and a third summer was mental health.
With this and other experiences in my life, I have had the humbling opportunity to see what real abuse is.
Sit in a family court room for a week and see what real abuse is. Spend a day with a social worker and you’ll see what real abuse is.
As an intern, they only expose you to the most mild of cases. Here are four quick stories that made me throw up after. I wish I knew how their lives all turned out.
The Sugarcoated Versions of These Stories
1.. Give the Child A Chance: A child had a a traumatic head injury from his dad harming him as an infant. From 6 months to 3, he lived in a loving foster home. The foster family wanted to adopt him.
His biological family would not relinquish him. Every week I had to take this well groomed, happy child to his parents, where four adults and 3 dogs lived in one filthy room. The child would cling to me the whole time. They had no idea how to connect with him. When the child saw me, he would cry and hold onto his foster mom, because he knew where he was going.
2. Emotional Care vs Convenience: An 11 year old had, he, and his 12 brothers and sisters put into foster care, because the parents couldn’t afford to take care of them. Once they got on their feet, they took all the kids back but the 11 year old. He kept running away from foster homes and return to his family. To stop this, they put him in a mental institution. There he had whole new challenge. It changed him into a cynical and paranoid individual I won’t write the things I saw there. Let me tell you; it is beyond anything you can imagine.
3. What’s the Return Policy: A 7 year old adopted child was returned to social services after 3 years with his family. Prior to the adoption he had a drug addicted mom and was left alone to take care of himself from 18 months on. He was completely neglected and abused. Again, beyond your imagination.
His return to foster care was not because he had issues. He was a sweetheart. Not because the family couldn’t afford to take care of him. He was returned because too many people said he didn’t look like the rest of the family. Social services tried to help the family come to terms with their decision. It seemed they were successful.
Then the family went to a church event where it was mentioned a few times. (The irony isn’t missed that this happened at a church event)
That’s when they moved forward to returning him. They didn’t tell the child that he was going back to foster care. The social worker, who I accompanied, had to. The child’s suitcase was packed and they called him downstairs and he was told. He cried harder than anyone I’ve ever seen. Screaming mommy, daddy as I carried him out. I sat in the back of the car with him and he held on to me so hard. He was brought to a temporary home for the weekend and then the next week he’d go to a more permanent foster family.
We brought him into the foster care house and he wouldn’t let go. He was devastated. After a half hour, the social worker felt he had acclimated enough and we could leave. He was told we were going and he grabbed my leg and didn’t want me to leave.
The social worker separated him from me and had me leave first. As we pulled out of the driveway, he was in the window watching and crying.
I still remember his face as if it just happened.
4. Murder: The 20 year old who shot his baby in the head:
This case was in criminal court. They wanted me to see how that part of the system worked. It’s nothing like you see on TV.
Simply, this young man was making a drug deal and his child began to cry in the back seat as they were negotiating money. The child wouldn’t stop. So, he shot him. The baby didn’t die immediately. He died on the way to the hospital. Thank goodness someone saw what was happening and called it in.
After the first crime scene picture, I couldn’t look anymore.
He was sentenced to 10 years in prison with parole option after 5 years.
These are the sugarcoated versions of these stories. Noe you can see why I vomited upon returning home those night.
Uncomfortable vs Abuse
As I hear people say I was uncomfortable after submitting to an activity to make them rich and famous. Or, to become rich and famous after the fact. Or, to create a stir to harm someone who is in the public eye.
Now, one person, that I’m aware of, refused the uncomfortable incident and didn’t become rich and famous. She made a choice.
If someone is uncomfortable they should feel empowered to say so. And it should be respected. It also has to be reasonable. Or it can become a can of worms.
I don’t know how these lines are going to be drawn or how they will be defined in a policy way.
These moments of discomfort only makes it harder for people really abused.
Their voices are the ones really unheard.
Humble and Kind
I use this every time any controversial subject comes up. I say this to my kids all the time.
If you are humble and kind, many big things can become solvable and small. It’s all about listening and learning.
This post has a ton of subjects covered. Tell me which ones need a deeper look. Or tell me your reactions.
Chip and I spent some time over last weekend trying to come up with an idea for Valentine’s Day. We love to do weekend getaways, but that doesn’t work this year. Chocolates and flowers are nice, but too predictable. Then Chip said, “Valentine’s Day is so stressful for men.” What?!
According to Chip, men feel incredible pressure on Valentine’s Day. To him, he feels the man has to deliver or the women get their feelings hurt. I guess this feeling goes back to before he met me. 🙂
For me, I’ve always have given some thought to come up with something new and different, but within the red heart and romantic theme. Some creativity and time … boom … you have a magic moment showing appreciation and love. Chip can be assured he’s not getting a tool kit or wallet.
I Don’t Find Valentine’s Day Stressful At All.
Chip thinks that it may not be that big of thing on the actual day. It’s the day after. When the woman goes to work or talks to friends. If Joan got s trip to Bermuda; Sarah got a diamond bracelet; and you got a homemade gift made from construction paper, that’s when the trouble begins.
So not true.
This is an actual quote from Chip. “If Valentine’s Day is supposed to be all about love, why are gifts even part of it.”
Men … Valentine’s Day is about thought and appreciation demonstrating your love. If there’s a gift that accompanies those two things, then your choice. You did well just from doing thought and appreciation.
Good Point. But, What Are the Alternatives?
I just read that Valentine’s Day originated as part of a pagan fertility ritual until the pope abolished it in the middle ages.
If you go with that theme, that means a little roll in the hay and you’re done.
But, we are over a certain age. That has a limited shelf life … if you know what I mean. (well that doesn’t apply to Chip…he told me to put that in)
The Pope soon replaced the pagan part and made it St. Valentine’s Day.
OK, does that mean we have to go to church? Not that I couldn’t use the payers.
After all this, a poet named Chaucer linked all this to love.
Kinda makes sense . Fertility, if acted on with good intentions, equals love. The essence of Catholicism is about faith and love. Maybe we are on to something here.
Maybe There’s Even More to It
Chaucer’s the guy who wrote the Canterbury Tales. That’s about an epic journey of people making a pilgrimage with the goal of being the first to arrive at the St. Thomas Beckett shrine. All for a free bowl of soup at a well known inn for the winner.
Hmm can that be considered the basics of a relationship?.
You start out on an epic journey of life together and at the end all you get are some memories of adventures and, if you’re lucky, some soup.
I don’t know why, but for some reason, I had thought that Valentine’s Day was invented by the greeting card companies to fill the sales void between Christmas and Easter.
That’s why we Google. I had no idea of the real history of the holiday.
All I know is once I started casually writing this, Chip started feeling the old pressures and is on Groupon trying to come up with a creative idea to celebrate.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
As long as you are with someone you love, all the rest is just window dressing.
Tell us what you got for Valentine’s Day. I’ll laud it over Chip … totally kidding.
