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Visit Those Over 80 – I Learned A Lot
Visit Those Over 80 – I Learned A Lot
There are people in my little world who are always posting pictures and events including ones with their parents or relatives over 80. Others post pictures and memories of those no longer with us. That’s why we should Visit Those Over 80 and learn a lot.
For the two months before my mom died, she was in an nursing home. My mom had quickly developed dementia and some other medical problems. So we had to bring her from her home of 88 years in NY to New England.
We decorated her room with things from home and even got her the YES network. Mom needed her Yankees fix.
We tried to make the best of things. Chip’s favorite time was taking my mom out on the grounds and sitting and talking with her.
There were times when she was lost, but she could talk about the past. One of her confusions was she thought I came from RI to NY everyday. She was always thankful I made the 4 hour trip everyday, but worried I was doing too much. I tried to tell her where she lived now, but she wasn’t interested in such details. I eventually took the “good child” compliment and ran with it.
Making Friends at The Home
My mom was fairly social in NY. We wanted to facilitate her making friends and getting the most out of her time there. There were other people who had similar challenges, but, it’s my mom. We wanted to see if we can get her connected to people more than the group of dinner companions the home assigned her to.
We went to visit everyday and met many people in her age group that were there and hadn’t had any visitors in a long time. Some for several years. Sure there were holiday gifts and an occasional fruit basket, but no human contact from people who they are connected.
Her nursing home was a Catholic home. There was mass everyday at 10 am. You could go to the Chapel for it or listen to it over the home speaker system. Then at 10 and 2 there was bingo or music time. A day or two a week there were crafts.
The patients were brought to the recreation rooms and frequently sat with people they didn’t know. Just put in any empty spot.
However, even with these activities and efforts, there was little interaction among the patients. It was sad.
The Real Story
Then the nurses and aids started talking about some of the patients. There was a women on the second floor who was a world renowned professional yodeler. I didn’t know you could be a professional yodeler, let alone internationally known.
Another person there had traveled around the world with her husband when they were in their 70s.
One woman was 95, sharp as a whip, dressed perfectly in pearls and beautiful clothes everyday. She had a successful husband and she was a philanthropist from the Boston area. She told us she was tired of doing the same thing every day and wanted to die. Yikes, that was hard to respond to.
No one had visited any of these people in three to five years.
They all loved their children and grandchildren. Each had a special story to tell about them as if they saw them just yesterday.
We asked the staff if they could find an activity that allowed the patients to share memories and details of their lives. As I understand it, there was an approved curriculum that the home had to follow.
While Visiting Those Over 80
As best we could, we tried to go visit my mom at activity times. We’d sit at the tables with my mom and her mates and ask people about their lives.
There were people who had some fantastic stories like the ones above or the woman who was one of the only female commissioned army nurses in WWII.
Most had regular lives…stay at home moms, factory workers, store owners, etc. Each had their own special humor and story. Each had experiences or brushes with greatness (meeting celebrities, politicians, awards for being the best at what they did) that were all unique and special.
We heard about how they watched the world change. Some things they found funny and most felt that this generation was raised so different than they were. Many times they even would talk about their own parents and siblings and some of their antics when they were young.
A Couple Sweet Stories
There was one woman who did have a daily visitor…her daughter. Her dementia was more advanced than my mom’s. Everyday she wanted to go home. She was thrilled that today was the day. Her daughter would say she was going to pack her suitcase and be right back to take her. At first I believed it, and told her how exciting it was.
Then I learned that it was a daily thing and that she would forget after dinner. For those minutes and when she awoke the next day, she was filled with anticipation and hope of resuming her life as she knew it.
Another story that really got me was the man who came to have breakfast and dinner with his wife every day. They were given a table all to themselves. He would tell her about his day, read the paper to her and tell what was happening in his life. She was in a wheelchair and seemed to have had a stroke.
However, everyday, he came and acted as if it was just a normal day.
The server told us that she had been a patient there for over 10 years. When they got married he promised her they would never start the day or end it without each other. And, at 87, he kept that promise.
How Things Are Changing
As gerontology research has advanced, they have found that the more engaged and active people are the better quality of life and health they have as they age.
There are studies going on at the moment testing how to change the nursing home curriculum to foster more personal engagement and healthy activities. Bingo is great and winning that penny pot is a big day, but when people have to think a little more they have a better experience when they leave their home of many years and need to adapt to someplace new.
In my opinion, this can’t happen fast enough.
I Wish We Were Able to Follow Through Better
For about 6 months, every couple weeks, we went to the nursing home to visit some of the people there. In that short time, some had died and others lost more and more understanding. Some were left in wheel chairs in the hall completely alone.
I wish we were able to sustain the visits, but we didn’t.
However, for that short period of time, we learned a lot and now revere more than before those over 80 in our lives.
A five minute visit, a meal, a call, a ride around town, a trip to a coffee shop makes a difference.
If you have a chance, drop by a nursing home occasionally and see who you meet. Or, just make an extra special effort to let your relatives and family friends know they have value beyond words. It can change a life.
If you have a story, about an amazing 80+ person, please share it.
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A Birthday Story of Smookie, Boo Boo, Schmoo
A Birthday Story of Smookie, Boo Boo, Schmoo
This week my son turns 20 years old. If the title of this blog doesn’t make him disown me, then I should be OK sharing this story. The risk is mine. This post tests the envelope on psychic ability, determination, humor and surprise. So please read a birthday story that will at a minimum make you smile.
The Scene
Before the birth, I had a pregnancy that was challenged and parents who loved the idea of grandchildren. In addition, we were well prepared for this child. He arrived two-and-half weeks early.
The Unexpected Big Day
The day before my child, who throughout his life has carried the nicknames Smookie, Boo Boo, Schmoo as well as darling child, was born. I went to a regularly scheduled doctor’s appointment for 10:30 am.
BTW when my son was 12, he asked me to stop calling him Smookie, Boo Boo, Schmoo. So I changed it to my darling child. Last year I returned to one of the big three. He has not tried to reinvoke the now 8 year old rule. We’ll see how long the relaxed agreement lasts.
During the appointment, the doctor told me to go home, call my husband and get to the hospital by 1:00 pm.
So, at 11:20, I called my husband and said, ” guess what the baby is coming today and we need to get to the hospital.” He said he would race home.
All the arrangements were made, bags packed, baby seat ready and we were set to go as soon as he got home.
Was There Psychic Abilities Displayed?
Within a few minutes of hanging up with my husband and putting our organization plan in place, I got a call from my dad.
He said, “Mar, I can’t believe I’m telling you this, but mom and I are at a rest stop on the Mass Pike. Your mom thinks you are having the baby today.
She woke up this morning at 5 am. Told me we have to get on the road, Maryanne is having the baby today. She absolutely insisted. I saw her pack faster than the Flash ( dad liked super hero comic books to read when he was sick) He said, “Sorry Cora (his nickname for me), but we will be there in 40 mins. I guess you’ll have house guests for two-and-half weeks or so.
The embarrassment and apologies in is voice were clearer than ever before.
After listening to his recitation of events, I said, “Dad, I just got back from the doctor. He said I’m having the baby today.”
“What?” was his response. So I said it again. “You’re kidding right?”
Nope.
“Your mom was right?”
Yup.
“How is that possible?
“Well, I’m kinda in shock too. How did she predicts this?” I said.
As we spoke in disbelief, my dad said, “I’m going to have to go tell her she was right.” Apparently something he wasn’t looking forward to.
My mom was watching my dad and could tell something was going on worth exploring.
She came over and asked my dad what was going on. He said, “She just got back from the doctor; she’s having the baby today.” Again his voice was still filled with awe
Of course there was an “I just knew it” in the background from mom.
Then we got down to business. Saying we were on our way to the hospital. We’d leave directions at the house. Get settled, and come to the hospital.
Now let me tell you, prior to this my mom has never, ever predicted correctly anything in her life. In addition, she has never ever predicted something correct after this either.
You decide if it was wishful thinking, temporary clairvoyance or a religious vision. I still can’t explain it.
However, somehow she knew and somehow convinced my father to get on the road at 7 am to drive four-and-a-half hours to get to our house.
The Hospital Arrival
Before I continue our story, let me tell you about our nurse. Her 12-hour shift was over at 7 pm that day, but she stayed until I had the baby. You can do the math on how long she was up once I finish the story.
We get to the hospital. They set us up in the birthing room. Took my vitals and put my fetal monitor on. Soon after the doctor came in and said the baby should arrive by 7 pm that evening.
Ok.
Now we asked someone from the nurses’ desk to come in. We told her that two little Italian people are going to get off the elevator. They are going to look tentative and lost. Those are my parents. Send them to our room.
Maybe 30 min to an hour later, my parents got off the elevator looking tentative and lost. The nurse said, “Are you the Panaros?”
My parents said, “Yes.”
And they were escorted to my room. So there we sat, talking and waiting. After a bit, the doctor said things weren’t moving fast enough. He was going to give me something to speed up labor.
Shortly after this, I was to have an epidermal and prepare for the more severe contractions.
My nurse was with me all the way.
She told me I was the most polite pregnant women she ever met. As contraction became stronger, I said things like, “Hmm that one was much stronger than the last one.” “If you have a sec, is it possible to have a few more ice chips please?” etc.
Then the Unexpected Happened
One of my doctor’s patients had an emergency situation. Immediate surgery was necessary. There were no other doctors to cover. So they had to slow down my birthing process.
So now I received a drip bag of something to slow the contractions.
Yup, I was having contractions, but they were slowed down until the doctor was available again.
This went on for hours.
At about 10 pm, a multi-episode documentary of the Kennedy’s was on. My husband, like any good New England Irish descendant, felt compelled to watch.
My parents were moved to a room where they were given blankets and a place to sleep. They were all set.
There I laid, contracting, looking at the ceiling, enjoying ice chips and my epidermal. I also was having a lovely conversation with our nurse. Since her shift ended at 7 pm, she had signed out, but told my new nurse she’d take are of things.
We talked about our families. The baby. Work. My pregnancies. Her pregnancies. Made light of the situation. Laughed at different experiences. Amazed at all the things we had in common. Really just a lovely chat.
Around 1 am, the doctor came in. Checked everything out and said, take her off the slow down medicine to speed up labor. His ideal was that I’d have the baby by 7 am. He was going to get some sleep until I was ready. He told the nurse what to look for to start the pushing and then call him.
The Delivery
Well based on the directions given, I was able to move things along much quicker. The doctor was called at 4 am and told this was going to happen soon.
The doctor got there still somewhat tired. That concerned me a little, My husband was still enjoying the Kennedy documentary. I guess it was more interesting.
The doctor called him over and asked him if he wanted to be above the sheet or below. He chose above but peaked below until he saw the top of my son’s head.
Now we had been at the hospital for over 14 hours and were in the wee hours of the morning and my husband never took off his suit coat. .
We were getting close to the final pushes. The doctor asked if I was ready.
I looked at my husband and said, “please take your suit coat off.:”
He did; and then I gave birth at 4:39 am.
I was given my son right away. And the first thing he did was snuggle and hold my finger. I melted. He had me at hello.
When I was pregnant, he was very active at night. Many times pushing up on my stomach. I would put my hand over what I believe was his hand or foot and talk to him. Coincidence? Don’t really know.
He was, and remains, an absolutely beautiful and perfect child.
Could There Be More to A Birthday Story? Yes!
My parents came in about 30 minutes later. They were thrilled. He was held. My dad couldn’t have held china more delicately. I will always remember my dad’s face from that day. They used to call my son our baby. Meaning their’s too.
After being up for close to 24 hours, our nurse went home.
The day went well. Local family, friends and kids came to the hospital. Everyone agreed with me that he was the perfect child.
But, What Is His Name? The Negotiation
The name I had chosen for him was Bryce. His father wanted him named after him. So, he went unnamed.
My husband’s greatest objections were related to all the things that rhymes with Bryce that school children could use.
My son uses his middle name as his first. I can’t imagine calling him anything else. But back to our story …
The social worker came in three times to get the name for the birth certificate.
“Hello,” the cheerful woman entered the room with a song in her voice. “So I’m here to get your child’s name for the birth certificate.”
We told her we are still deciding.
The second time she came in was 3 hours later. She nicely asked. “So, what’s your sweet child’s name?”
I told her we were having trouble deciding. I made my case for Bryce.
Her face said it all. She was uncomfortable. She said she’d be back later..
More discussion without resolution went on.
The social worker came in again. We told her we still didn’t know. Then she said, “Look the baby can’t leave the hospital without a name or birth certificate. I’ll be outside.”
So negotiations moved to a new level.
“What’s it going to take to get him named after me?” my husband asked.
My requests were simple. I wanted to pick both godparents (love you Julie and Frankie). That he needed to be my slave for life. And finally, I wanted, on demand, a gift far more expensive than we can afford.
He called my bluff and agreed.
His godparents were my choice. I’m still waiting for the other two things. I’ve waited 20 years. Might as well hang on a little longer.
That Has to Be the End of A Birthday Story? Sorry No, But We Are Close
We brought our son home. Our neighbors had decorated the outside of our house. So sweet. We showed our son around the house and his new room. Of course we explained he’d be in the bassinet in our room for a while. He seemed to understand and was fine with it.
However, that night he didn’t seem right. I walked around with him. My husband walked around with him. He was turning an odd color. We left the doctor a message and headed back to the hospital.
Thank goodness my parents were there to hold down the fort.
Our son had jaundice. They said we got there just in time.
For 4 days he was in the hospital in an incubator. They gave us a room on the floor. The doctor said expect to be here for 10 days. Holy!
Apparently it takes one day for each bilirubin number to drop.
Everyday I sat near his incubator. All day, just rubbing his arm and talking to him as he lay in his light bulb suit.
The night of the third day the doctor came in and said his levels have dropped to normal. He asked what I had done. I told him and he was surprised.
As I understand it, at the time, there were a lot of studies on the healing powers of touch and comforting communication. He just had never seen it work before.
So, the next day we brought our healthy baby home.
Now he’s a man turning 20. Studying film and producing shorts and TV shows with his heart set on Hollywood.
I’ve called dibs on red carpet events; but think there will be another round of negotiations. This time I’ll be prepared.
Happy Birthday Boo Boo Schmoo
Love you more than words. Support you more than anyone. And, will always have your back and hold you in my heart.
If you want to wish my son a happy birthday please write or comment below.
Wearable Technology – It’s Everywhere
Wearable Technology – It’s Everywhere Or Going to Be
A couple years ago, one of my friends, Brian Kane, was teaching a class at Rhode Island School of Design (RISD) on Wearable Technology. At the end of the class, students had a photoshoot with their creations as well as a runway show. Brian, and artist and tech person, needed an extra set of hands to help with the end of year events, so I pitched in. It was an eye opener. Wearable technology has many definitions and uses. It’s new textiles; new ways to measure/manage body functions; new fashion designs that can even defy gravity. If you do anything today, scroll through the pictures below, See if you are as shocked as I was.
When you first think of wearable technology, you think of Fitbits and Apple Watches. You may even think of the different monitors out there to help those who have fallen and can’t get up.
But there is so much more. Take a look at the different types of wearables from fashion to functional and enter the world of Internet of Things (IoT). You maybe surprised what’s possible and could become part of our everyday lives sometime in the future.
Creativity Galore
Since the students did some truly unique things, I’m going to share some of the pictures from the RISD event first. Then go from there. Check these out …
Gravity Defying Shoes
This student, created a pair of shoes that had n
o heels that you could wear as if they were a fashion “must have.”
It was incredible. When they went down the runway, you were puzzled how it was possible. They had a futuristic design and were as stable and useful of any pair in your closet.
I mean look at them, they are gorgeous. With my shoe fetish, this was one of my favorites.
Wait, before we go to the next picture … this is a much more sophisticated description of the class that I found on the designboom website. Read below. Oh and the no caps of the sentences is part of the creative flare I guess.
“as part of an interdisciplinary fashion and technology course at the rhode island school of design, students were asked to explore new aesthetics, narratives, and styles sourced from the latest high-tech materials accessible to an apparel designer. led by brian kane and catherine andreozzi, the young artists and designers investigated the emotional responses elicited by various styles of clothing and the unique, and often quite personal, interaction between wearer and wearable. with a focus on the ever-expanding culture of body-based digitalism — where smartphones are always in pockets and watches can read through your emails — the students were challenged to create not only tech-centric couture, but more importantly, aesthetically significant pieces that connect to people on an emotional and humanistic level.”
Wow … that’s more inspiring than my description. OK back to the student’s genius work.
This is a structured dress with no real anchor in the back. It’s also made of leather tanned with vegetable stain.
This next one is pretty fun … it’s a wearable garden and considered by this student as also a virtual reality. This is creative and whimsical.
Ok … last one of this group — a LED mask that symbolizes the plight of women’s voices being silenced.
That’s right I saved the most political one for last, but it is well designed and exemplified the goal of the class.
Wearable Technology’s World of Sensors
We talked about the Apple Watch above. It’s a technology that relies on sensors to gather information related to your health and activities. Well look what else sensors can do …
These ‘Smart’ Ballet Shoes Digitally Paint Dancers’ Fancy Footwork
Image credit: Lesia Trubat
From Entrepreneur Magazine
Ballet is an exquisite, ephemeral expression. A dancer’s delicate footwork vanishes into thin air as quickly as it’s created, but it doesn’t have to. Not anymore.
Enter a pair of “smart” shoes you probably never expected: A sensor-laden pair of E-Traces ballet shoes strapped to a ballerina’s fancy feet. They’re smart pointe slippers that literally transform ballet into art in motion. They capture dancers’ footwork — every landing, twirl and sweep of the floor. Then transform it into vibrant, multicolor digital drawings and images. This allows the dancer to use pictures as art or a way to watch their skills and improbe their techniques.
What About a Backpack for Bike Riders that let’s people know if they are stopping, turning or riding straight.
How About Adhering Your IPhone to Your Wrist Instead of carrying the device around
That’s right, you synch this patch to your body and can use it with all the features of your smartphone.
Bio-Sensors
There are also sensors that can go under the skin called bio-sensors. These can have a number of functions from tracking to health management. One company Profuse has solves the biggest challenge for this technology … having the body accept vs reject this foreign element from the body. This innovation will advanced this technology quickly. Since it is so unobtrusive, it can create great benefit without having to re-administer or download information. It will simply transmit from the min-device.
There are also a ton that are related to medical or safety purposes, including a smart Band-Aid, but the ones above just struck me as cool and unusual.
Textiles
Apparently people are also creating fabric that have purposes other than sparkling fashion.
A woman named Linda Worbin is experimenting with this idea.
One example is a thermo crymatic pillow that aids sleep for proper positioning not only for comfort but for restfulness.
Can’t forget the pets … This is the Disco Dog
Saw this on Kickstarter … Disco Dog is the world’s first smartphone controlled LED dog vest. It displays a variety of animated patterns and custom scrolling text in thousands of colors. It’s a fun way to celebrate your dog, and also keeps her visible and safe when it’s dark out. If your dog runs too far away and the connection is lost, the vest will show an automatic “LOST DOG” message, asking bystanders to help the lost pup find her way back.
PreVue Pregnancy Textile Devide Lets Mothers See Their Babies Grow
If they had this when I was pregnant, I’d never sleep, work or anything. I’d be watching all day, 24 hours a day.
Fashion
Fashion looks at wearable technologies combining all the ideas above plus design that is structured or visible in uncommon ways. Here are 3 noteworthy ideas …
Celebs are doing it.
Some Consider Structured Futuristic Fashion a Wearable Technology.
Where it all started
Over 15 years ago industrial and performance apparel companies started introducing cordless heat into the lining of coats, gloves and hats to keep outside workers warm in the winters and skiers and snowboarders too.
Then wearable technology moved to managing all thermal issues. So there was clothing to keep you warm, clothing to keep you cool and clothing to manage your temperature for specific activities.
This quickly expanded to including ways to listen to Ipods and then cellphones.
What else is possible?
Some claim to provide people with super powers such as helping your muscles strengthen when needed enhancing your natural physicality. Just amazing.
Others add glasses with purposes, beyond enhancing sight, as wearable. This includes virtual reality items.
There are also people working on hats that can capture thoughts and turn them into actions to control robots to perform tasks for them. Think how helpful that could be for someone disabled. Or write emails you forgot to do at work while you’re at dinner with someone. They wouldn’t even know. However, that does imply they are super boring company if you are doing that.
Wearable Technology is Here to Stay
There are so many uses and yet to be created uses for the different applications of this technology. The challenge will be how will people choose which to go with.
Let us know your wearable technology and we’ll post it here.
Also, if you liked this post, feel free to share it.